A celebration of sorrow
by breathoflavender
Summary: It was the day of the wedding and everything seemed to be perfect. But let's be honest, nothing really is. Angsty. one shot. sasuhinanaru sasuhina naruhina.


**_A/N : Hey, re-edited this since it was done when i was really young. I hope you will enjoy it. Also, the last bit is a song from Adele called "someone like you". So credits to her. :D_**

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_**The church was already filled up**_

_**and the pianist had already started playing a tune.**_

_**Everyone was happy to see that,**_

_**the marriage they had anticipated for so long,**_

_**had finally arrived.**_

_**Hinata**_

The make up artist had finished putting the final touches and I was sitting on the chair waiting for the signal for me to go out.

But I know I won't make it.

My hands were sweating beyond control and my leg felt like they were boulders. So heavy, that I wouldn't be able to lift them up, not to mention walk all the way to the end.

My stomach clenched again.

"Owww.." I whispered. The bridesmaid came to me at once.

"Are you okay? You're sure excited." she said. I turned to her and tried to smile. Instead, it came out as if my lips were glued together.

Excited, was I really?

My heart pounded harder and harder as if in proportion to the ache in my stomach. My mind was in a whirl of mess.

What was I doing? What was I doing in this beautiful white gown outside this beautiful chapel? Marriage? For a second, my heart took a leap and I couldn't see myself anymore. I couldn't see myself married and happy.

But I must be.

I must be happy. I'm marrying to the man I love. The thought of Naruto standing outside waiting for me was alittle comforting.

But just for a moment.

It was as short as that and then I snap back into panic again. Panic at what exactly comforted me a second ago. I was going to be a married to Naruto. What am I doing? How can I be uncertain now? My heart ached deep down and naturally, my hand quickly went over my chest as if it could somehow fill the gaping hole.

If I was marrying Naruto then…. then why was my heart still aching?

Why was my mind thinking of otherwise.

Why was my mind thinking of… of…

_Sasuke…_

My heart seemed to react worse to the familiarity of the name. It felt like it was pulling itself apart.

From inside, I finally heard the pastor speak.

"… and the bride, Hyuuga Hinata." My blood froze.

That's me.

The bridesmaid cheered at her spot and tugged at my arm for me to stand.

I gulped and thought this over again, my heart jumping crazily. This wasn't about me opening the door and walking down that aisle anymore. This was about my future, as well as theirs.

Naruto….

Sasuke…

I feel cheap.

I feel so dirty. I wanted them both.

Stupid girl, I spat at myself. The bridesmaid, who was overwhelmed with excitement (the irony), tugged at me one hard pull and dragged me to the door. Unable to go against it, I found myself standing behind the door staring hard at the knob. She put her hand on it ready to twist it open.

My heart clenched again as if a twist of her wrist would start a time bomb. All too fast, she swiftly pushed open the door and right in front of me, just a few steps away, awaits Naruto.

Naruto stands there, in all his glory. His blue eyes bright and shiny like sunlight. His tanned skin along with his ruffled blonde hair went perfectly with his immaculate black tuxedo. His mouth stretched into a wide smile as if promising me happiness.

And that only felt like a punch to my heart.

All he can think about is our happy marriage and us.

But for me, as his wife-to-be, I was hesitating. I am choking in mountains of uncertainty.

And worse.

I was thinking of another man.

My father, who was standing there for quite a while now, came by my side and held my hand in his grasp. As if in revelation, the crowd cheered and clapped happily. Sakura automatically grabbed the petals off the basket and threw it in the air.

In response, the crowd seemed to become even more energetic. I looked around to the people sitting on the wooden benches, smiling at me as if they knew I had found my happiness. They seem to be so sure that marrying Naruto would bring me the best.

I don't doubt any of that. Naruto is the kindest man I've met in my life. Always ready to help. He was always the one to smile at you silly, despite the sky had fallen. He was always the guy that took whatever tantrum you threw and then hug you at the end of the day like it was his fault.

And Sasuke was – No. I shouldn't think about him. I should not be thinking about him.

But why do I keep doing so.

My heart was pierced once more at his name and I felt my eyes turning moist.

Another tune started and that meant that I had to walk. Right on cue, my father looked at me, drew a tight smile and pulled me forward.

Blood gushed up my nose. There was no turning back. I just have to let everything sink in now. My heart plunged deep and tears brimmed over my lids and formed rivulets down my cheek. My legs felt like they were floating as oppose to moments before. Just drifting on the land, numb under my skin. I closed my eyes.

Naruto… Sasuke…

_I'm sorry_

_**Naruto**_

Hinata. Go.

Run. Turn around and run away from what I have become.

You don't have to do this for me.

You think I stand here, dumb and happy.

You think I stand here, clueless to it all.

But I know.

I know everything. I know that when you think no one is looking, you stare at him. I notice those sad and forlorn eyes when you turn away from him. I know how your hand automatically goes up to your chest when someone mentions his name. I know how your heart yearns for him. More than you want me.

It's been 2 years since he left you. But nothing seemed to have change. Nothing, except my feelings. I never thought I would fall for you, 2 years ago. All I knew was that you were Sasuke's girlfriend and that was all. But when he left you, I felt guilty. Like it was my responsibility on his behalf to make sure you're okay.

So I reached my hands out for you. And overtime, as I continue to help you, I became closer to you. I grew attached to you. I started to think about you more and more and ultimately, I have unconsciously fallen for you.

You had been touched by what I did. You were sad and lonely and there I was, the knight in shiny armor to save the damsel in distress. But can't you see? I'm not that good a person you think I am.

I'm taking you away from the one you really love.

He came back 2 months ago. And ever since, you have been lost in whatever you do. You look at your table, you walk around the house, you daze off on our dates and you were just so lost and distracted. When I had asked you what was wrong, you just shrug it off.

But I know what exactly was wrong.

Sasuke. It always had to be him. It's funny how it seems like everything is about him.

That lucky bastard.

He was with you two years ago. That was about him. He left you two years ago, that was about him. Two months ago, he came back and it was about him. Today is our marriage and it was still about him.

I got angry. I was furious. It was a feeling I have never felt before. Anger and Hatred. Something I had never experience in my 24 years of life.

I was angry because he always had you. He could just throw you away for two years and come back and he would still have you.

And it was crazy from then. I brought flowers and a ring and booked the entire restaurant because I knew I had to marry you. I knew you wouldn't refuse me.

I wanted to have you. I wanted to hurt him.

But I was only hurting you.

Why is everything so twisted?

The groom stands here with a bleeding in his heart on the day of his marriage to the love of his life. He's smiling so wide, his eyes glistening at the sight of one woman. But his heart dies with every second that pass.

I know I'm hurting you, and yet I can't bring myself to call this wedding off. I can't be the knight to save you anymore.

My heart is bleeding. Can't you see?

I'm sorry, Hinata.

I don't have the courage to be the man anymore.

And Sasuke. If you're lurking in the dark and watching this, I hope you come out. I hope you punch me in the face and bring Hinata away from me.

I'm sorry. To the both of you.

I'm not meant to be the beast I am now.

_**Sasuke**_

I stand here at the corner of the church, watch, as my lover walk into the arms of another man.

Heartbreak, something I gave you two years ago.

Heartbreak, something you threw back at me now.

My heart hurts because you've moved on.

My heart hurts because now, you are finally settled and probably will never think about me anymore.

My heart hurts as I think about how you and Naruto are going to start a family. You would be the best wife there is and make him many many kids.

And lastly, my heart hurts the most at the fact that I knew it could have been _me_.

If I hadn't left you…

Then would all these be different? Would the one standing now as the groom be me? Would you have been mine?

My heart aches so much that now you are gone.

Why did I leave you, you asked me on Temari's birthday two weeks ago, but I had just walked away.

Because I loved you. And it was all too much.

I couldn't stand loving you and caring you and being so dependent and vulnerable against someone. I thought I was crazy.

It was my first time truly loving someone and no one told me it was suppose to feel this way. I had shitloads of money from the inheritance but having no family, what could I have known about love?

Love was something so foreign and I just didn't want to believe that I have fallen for you.

I panicked and skipped.

You can't imagine it can you? None of you can. Back then, I couldn't stand myself. All I could do was wonder what you were doing, what I could do for you or if any man was becoming too close to you.

What was this?

I didn't like all these and I just needed to go. And I did.

And look at what's happened.

To be honest, I hate Naruto for stealing you. In some twisted sense, I had came back, expecting you to be how you were two years ago; Even if I had been the one that abandoned you first.

I wanted to come back, apologize and sweep you off your feet again

I would never have thought that you would have gone on.

Huh. I guess what goes around, comes around.

And still standing here, I wonder what was going to happen to me now? Will I continue to get drunk every night to ease all the pain by a bit? Or was I one day, going to find it all too much and shoot myself?

_Nevermind, I'll find someone like you, _

_I wish nothing but the best for you two, _

_Don't forget me, I beg, _

_I remember you said, _

_"Sometimes it lasts in love, _

_But sometimes it hurts instead"_

_**The tune continue to dance on, swirling in the air, pleasant to all ears. The bride had finally reached the end of the aisle. **_

_**They smile and take each other's hands. And from there, they began their vows.**_

_**Everyone witnessing the marriage looked in admiration. They wished they were them. **_

_**Once they had finished exchanging vows. Confetti started falling in the air.**_

_**Some were in tears being touched by the couple, **_

_**some were cheering at how happiness had finally found them both, **_

_**and some, just found all of it all too much to bear.**_

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**_A/N : Was the ending okay? was struggling with it. Thanks for reading! :)_**


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